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Oak Tree Advisory Services, Inc.

Resource Library

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OAK TREE MEDIATION RESOURCE LIBRARY

You did not plan on divorce when you got married. But now you are facing it. You need to know what is ahead for both of you and your children.

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GET INFORMED

This page offers resources to help you find information that you can use. We are not trying to be exhaustive. We think a few, well-selected sources can get you started. With that, you will be able to understand what information you may need to build an understanding of your own relationship and how it can move forward.

As couples move through the process of separation and divorce, there is an atmosphere around them that people often find difficult to describe. They are lost, frightened about the future, disoriented as to what happens next, just wanting to have it over.

A better way to approach separation is to prepare. Seek information and understanding. There is a process of divorce which is very different from the realities of divorce. Sadly, when couples do not understand this, they get caught in the court system, and they set themselves up as adversaries.

This was our experience when we first worked with divorcing couples. One of the first cases we worked on together was not mediation. After a long period of accusations, fighting, court appearances by the attorneys, and $500,000 spent on fees and court costs, it was over, and the spousal support continues to this day.

In another case, the meeting began as mediation, and then someone knocked on the door. A man came in and handed the husband a summons. No one expected that but the couple almost got pulled into court by an attorney’s mistake.

Use these links to educate yourself and to prepare for your future, regardless of your ultimate outcome.

Family / Counseling Support:

  • Gottman Institute (source for therapists) – Gottman Therapists
  • SDNC-CAMFT (source for therapists) – San Diego North County – California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
  • Dr. Sue Johnson (source for information) – Emotion-Focused Therapy
  • Dr. Dan Siegel (source for information) – Healing broken attachments
  • Rosalind Seddaca (source for information) – Child-Centered Divorce
  • San Diego: Court Approved Co-Parenting Class
  • Co-Parenting Made Easy
  • Divorce Home Solutions

Professional Organizations:

  • Academy of Professional Family Mediators (APFM)
  • Association of Divorce Financial Planners (IDFP)
  • California Society of Tax Consultants (CSTC)
  • Certified Financial Board of Standards (CFP)
  • Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts (IDFA)
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP)
  • Southern California Mediation Association (SCMA)
  • The Paralegal Association (NALA)

Books:

  • NOLO Press – This, in our view, is the best source of factual and unbiased information about divorce. Nolo is a valuable source for books and articles.
  • How to Do Your Own Divorce in California in 2016: An Essential Guide for Every Kind of Divorce (Good book understand the process)
  • How to Manage a Contested Divorce in California in 2016: Take Charge of Your Case • In or Out of Court • With or Without an Attorney (How to Solve Divorce Problems in California)
  • Making Divorce Work: 8 Essential Keys to Resolving Conflict and Rebuilding Your Life
  • Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce
  • We’re Still Family: What Grown Children Have to Say About Their Parents’ Divorce
  • The Good Divorce

Legal Resources:

  • California Family Courts
  • California Family Law Code (the law)

About Children:

  • SPLIT

Websites & Downloads:

  • Divorce Net
  • Our Family Wizard (Tool for co-parenting children)